Oh, we think that we "know" Mom's usage, or make assumptions about it, that she only needs email or web browsing, maybe a greeting card making application. But thinking this and acting this way only goes to show that we're pompous and assumptive when it comes to our parents. It also applies "control" in the wrong manner. The article to follow is a generalization, that said, it may not be applicable to your code-writing, system engineer Mom.

Initially, she cold care less if it runs Windows or Linux, or a Mac. She doesn't share your zeal or your knowledge. Remember when she had you set up her VCR when you were 12? You think she can tweak her computer? Probably not. In all reality Mom just wants to turn it on and go. And if you set it up for her, then you're a bad-guy when she can't do what she wants. Listen, she could care less that Firefox is "standards based" and IE is garbage. She has come from a time when corporations have told her that it's her duty to be fleeced. You think she's recently "seen the light"? No. Probably not. Do yourself and her a favor and quit bugging her. However, if you really want to do her a favor, read on. The setup, or more to the point, the "psychology" I recommend works for Mom. And Dad. And everybody a generation older than you are.

Your Mom has had her share of media onslaught. Keep the Linspire and friends the hell off her computer. Sure, she's suffered hype for years and she probably thinks her computer is just a pay-as-you-go Microsoft controlled machine. But we're gonna show her, subtly, that it's not. It's her tool. Her appliance. That's why we use Debian. We stay away from Ubuntu because one day, when she gets savvy by accident, and she wants to fix a thing or tweak it better, or whatever, we don't want to subject her to the Ubuntu Kids-Show. Sure, there are some righteous members there, but in the overall, it's a High School. Mom already suffered kids. She's an adult and she expects adult behavior. We use Debian because it stays out of her way and doesn't insult her. Just as important; it works, and is brain-dead simple to maintain. Only slightly less important is the amount of applications that Mom can play with, if she ever cares to

The biggest problem with switching Mom over to Linux is that she really does have one or two programs that are Windows only. Well, without bugging her about all the reasons why Windows sucks and proprietary software, blah blah blah.....we're going to do the very same thing "for" her that she did to you when you were a kid. We are going to introduce her to proper software "for her own good". Lol, I can hear you all now -- it'll never work, that's just wrong, etc., etc., etc. Yes it will and no it's not. Earn her respect on a different level. Your Mom needs to know that you have some balls. She likes it when you "tell her what to do". Honest. It was her job to turn you into someone that can take control when necessary. Quit allowing her to run the show, it's not hers to run, it's yours. You are the "expert" here. Be the expert. Prove to her that she did right by you. You are doing her no harm, she knows it, you need to. But do this with kindness and respect; and knowledge.

I don't recommend wiping Windows from her machine. Sure, after you set Debian up you will comment out the Grub entry for it, but removing it from her machine is not a good idea. Your Mom might enjoy doing her own taxes. You've seen TurboTax boxes at her house before. Don't mess with that. Yes, you are "taking control" as it were, but you're not a jerk, either. This is an excellent way for you to teach her a thing, too. An excellent way for her to become confident and a little savvy. When tax-time comes around she will call you and ask what she can do about doing her own taxes. Golden moment because you can walk her through un-commenting the Windows entry in her /boot/grub/menu.list file. See how it all goes down? Subtle like. People learn best when they learn by default and it was their idea. Honest. Mom smiles to herself and says "w00t! I kick ASS!" And she feels all kinds of good about you now.

I don't see any other reason to keep Windows around. All her data can be imported or opened and saved-as into and by native Linux apps, and we can replace Windows apps and introduce her to other native Linux apps that will blow her away. You're still with me, right? Good.

Before you even sat down to rebuild your Mom's machine you inventoried it for the apps that she used. Maybe you noticed this over her shoulder, maybe you poked around, or maybe you just asked her. Asking her is a bad idea because Mom will forget one or 2 apps she used infrequently yet totally loves and "needs". Don't panic. Be the man, though, and "know" this stuff. Don't bug her or else the whole idea will be seen as a chore and she'll become fed-up with your ignorance and lack of ability. Honest. Be The Man.

You already know your Mom uses Outlook. OK, Mr. Fancy-Pants, what are you going to do to keep her contacts and mail? What about her calendar? What about that "Bible" program she uses? How about the genealogy program or her card-maker? Do you know that she rips Cd's? Does she care about lyrics? These are real-world questions that you need answered. You can't be sitting at her machine for 2 days trying and failing -- looking like an idiot. If you don't already know how to export all her Outlook stuff, then what the hell are you doing trying to switch her to Linux? You're earning her respect; do it.

One of the most important aspects of her new Debian machine is running a web server. You may not have thought of that before because your eye is not on the prize. You should know that many people decide to run Linux because of the simplicity and reliability of running a local web server. And the downright "handiness", too. Your Mom may not have thought of this, nor may she care, but you have, and you do. You should also know that there are a zillion reliable and damned solid php/mysql scripts out there that can replace your Mom's crappy shareware. My wife is a Mom. It's true. She's also not 50 years old, but neither is yours :). Well, she may be, but this still applies. She could care less about what runs on her computer, but you better know that she will flay you if you take her "functionality" away. You want to know how I really got my wife interested in actually using the box that I built for her? Simple...

I took full advantage of the web server that I run on our LAN and installed Feed-on-Feeds. A news aggregator, reader....whatever. The simplicity of it is that I subscribed her to a news-feed that she cares about....coupons! That's real-world. That's something she cares about. True, I had to teach my wife, a Mom, how to shop 10 years ago because she had no idea. She took that duty over and got far better at it than I am. She uses coupons. Bet you $50 that your Mom does too. Enable her. Excite her. Give her this functionality and either show her, or just do what I did -- set her browser's homepage to an html page that you made containing a nicely formatted list of links to all the scripts that you installed on her local web server. She into genealogy? Awesome, lots of Moms are. You will find at least one excellent script that you can install locally for her and she will be happy. Or, install Gramps from the repos. Make a choice. You can see where I'm going with this. Take it all the way.

You know what else I did? I installed some silly but amazing games, like Lbreakout2. I installed a CD ripper, too. With a "quiet" front end for managing her collection of music. Amarok is not quiet. You think it kicks-ass but in reality it's buggy and loud. It's confusing. Use something else instead. Rhythmbox is quiet. Install Streamtuner for her, as well, and Xmms. Install Gtkpod to manage her ipod if she's got one. install Gnump3d for it's simplicity. Sometimes she wants to just "flip on the radio". Well, if her computer is always on, and she's got a link to Gnump3d in her browser's homepage, she can click, click again, and get to doing what she likes to do while her music plays in the background. What if your Mom likes to conserve electricity -- having a radio on while her computer is already on and can do the same thing is wasteful. Use that.

Many people struggle over what Desktop Environment to use on Mom's machine. KDE is loud! Xfce4 is quiet. KDE gets in the way, Xfce4 does not. Nor does Gnome. Your favorite does not apply here and your idea that you are more familiar with KDE so you can support it is misplaced. Thinking that you need to support a DE is misplaced as well. Use a quiet, friendly DE that stays the hell out of her way. If she ever complains, which she won't, then you can talk to her about alternatives. You can show her your machine and how you use KDE. Maybe she'll go for it then, but if you jam this down her throat in the beginning you've lost the ability and appearance of being helpful to her. Hey, I have nothing against KDE. I adore it on some levels, but I don't use it. It's LOUD. It gives my 40 year old eyes a headache. True, I'm on my machine far more than Mom is, but it's still loud. Hell, IceWM can be used with great success on her machine as well. Find macondo in my forum or elsewhere and ask him. He'll take the time to show you, too.

Hopefully I have introduced you to a concept that should never have been far from your mind -- your Mom wants functionality and she will adore you making decisions for her. This one time ;). You're her child and she needs to know that you are capable of maintaining her respect. Or, of finally earning it. Microsoft is not her friend, and neither is Debian, but she likes her computer and what she can do with it. She might also like not getting a virus or trojan. She might enjoy surfing a helluva lot more safely, too. She might enjoy not being forced to accept an upgrade or shell out $$$ every year to run an anti-virus program that sucks the life out of her machine. Your Mom is not some mystical goddess, she's just a woman. She has habits and expectations like all of us and she sometimes needs to be reminded that you, her son/daughter, is a capable person with knowledge and a "can-do" attitude.

-- machiner
7 mar 08

Well, in all honestly, KDE ain't so bad. It can be configured to be pretty "quiet", too.

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