From http://linuxgazette.net/issue45/orr.html

and contributed by Bruce Kingsland, here was one of the absolute funniest things I have read in a while…

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. After the last 10 years, this airline still sticks to its' ideals, no change, no need to change.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ... Flash news - Air DOS has been denied a federal bailout, and due to international market pressure has closed doors to all customers. Any customer unwilling to accept this notice can apply at FreeDOS. They promise to be there for passengers, but no one ever seems to fly.

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up. Mac Airlines will be the coolest airline service available, offering ultra-tiny but multi-colored seating. Folks are so amazed in the color of the materials and the ability of the seats not to crush under human weight, that it will become fashionable to demand a seat on the airline, even though it takes longer to get to every location and costs up to 10 times the cost of similar flights.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Due to its' past, you would think customers would be rather scarce. On the contrary, customers will even pay extra for a Window with a new view. Unfortunately, all past luggage won't fit in the new airplanes, so all Windows customers will be forced to buy all new luggage. Business customers are the first to rebel, so the airline is forced into flying a new and an old fleet. A few years later, the new planes are being scraped as some 60% of all previous users refuse to fly in the newer aircraft. Despite the airlines claim of superior security, articles of hijackings are commonplace.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes. Windows actually upgrades the NT fleet to applause from most government auditors. The real issue the fleet now has is occasionally the Windows Air planes on similar flight paths crash directly into sister fleet craft, occasionally taking out the entire airport.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?" Over the years, disgruntled employees have divided the airline into 12 billion splinter airlines. So now, everyone on earth has their own plane, and gets to pick their own color. In a startling new creation, Linux Air actually lets you fly one of their planes, while sitting in the cockpit of any Windows Air plane. This feat allows the Windows plane customer to feel the power and actual freedom of having their very own private plane. In a separate study, we'll discuss why Windows users walk, instead of fly... (sorry, I am biased, this IS a blog)

ezsurfer